Soup to Nuts

Anyone with a microgram of sense would have found the bottle suspicious – a crystal container placed in the corner of the workbench, the lamplight hitting perfectly to make the opalescent contents swim and swirl. It was labelled with fancy script and everything.

The “Pussy Potion” was far from his most brilliant work, but in the end he was just proud he hadn't gone with the ostentatious “Rick’s Universe-Famous Pussy Juice.” And besides, he wasn't going to waste his talents on a half-baked plot to teach Jerry a lesson for stealing his lube.

Bottom line, it worked. When Rick arrived home in a cascade of smoke and sparks (he really needed to fix his brakes) Jerry was laying on the garage floor, shivering. Rick cast a quick glance at his workbench, unsurprised to see the bottle missing a good amount of liquid.

What he didn't expect was Jerry's state – the man looked dazed, his eyes glassy and breath coming hard.

“Rick? Oh thank God.”

Rick rolled his eyes. Leave it to Jerry to fuck up having genitalia. He approached his son-in-law, hands going into his pockets to close around the vial of antidote, then stopped short when he got close.

Jerry’s hands were between his thighs, which clenched in time with his shuddering breaths.

“Wow Jerry,” he said, relishing how the man flinched at his own name, “you're - you really fucked up this time, huh?”

“Sorry!” Jerry sobbed. "Sorry, just please help me."

"I dunno Jer." Rick drawled, squatting down to grin at Jerry's panicked face. "I need to know you learned your – wait."

He bent closer, examining Jerry's chattering teeth, stained with blue. “Did you drink this shit?”

Jerry closed his eyes, squeezing out tears.

“It's topical, dipshit! Fuck, now I know why Beth has the poison control hotline taped to the 'fridge.”

“It didn't taste tropical!”

“I-you-dammit!” Rick straightened, pinching the bridge of his nose and pacing a few steps. "This wasn't the plan."

"Plan?" Jerry wailed.

"Yes! Plan, numbnuts! Or," he sneered, "should I use a different anatomical term?"

Jerry sobbed and struggled to his knees, then shuffled forward to clutch at Rick's coat. "Please Rick," he said, "I learned my lesson. Just help me, I think I'm dying!"

"You're not dying, asshole. You drank a mysterious liquid without reading the fine print and now you're cursed with a pussy until you've fully metabolized the compound."

Jerry fell forward, burying his face way too close to Rick's dick. "I don't want a pussy!" He cried, dragging out the last word in a prolonged sob.

Rick willed his dick to stay down, but he was only half-successful. "Fuck you're pathetic." He said.

Jerry's breath quickened and he squirmed in place.

Rick's eyes widened and he barked out a laugh. "You're getting off on this, you pitiful bitch!"

Jerry's sobs turned to moans.

"What's wrong, Jer, can't figure out your new plumbing? Leave it to you to fuck up masturbation."

Rick watched with sick fascination as Jerry reached between his legs, rubbing so hard that he whimpered into Rick's thigh.

"Do you need my help, Jerry?" Rick spat.

"P-please Rick, God I'll do anything, just-just make it go away!"

"Well," Rick said, producing the antidote, "I'd give you this, but since someone can't read a label to save his own dick, it's not gonna work. You'll just have to ride this one out."

The moan that came from his son-in-law was part despair, part ecstasy. The sound killed off Rick's already-limping self-control and he closed the garage, initiating its lockdown protocol.

"Shh, it's okay Jer-bear," he said, running his hands through the man's hair, "you want me to take the edge off?"

Jerry raised his tear-stained face to gaze balefully at Rick. "Please," he whispered, "please just make it better."

"Ugh, fine." Rick said, nudging his foot between Jerry's knees. "But only since you b-begged me to."

The man let out a keen as his heated pussy made contact with Rick's pant leg. He bucked his hips forward, grinding shamelessly.

"On your back." Rick said.

Jerry let out a pained noise, but complied, spreading his legs. His pants were soaked.

"Fuck you're so needy." Rick stepped forward and placed his foot against Jerry's crotch. "Y-You're a leach." He said, relishing the way the man moaned and bucked beneath him.

"Harder please—"

"You're not in a position to request things, Jerry." Rick sneered. "You couldn't even touch yourself right."

Jerry shuddered. "Please, do whatever you want, just – just help me!"

"Oh-ho, you should not have said that." Rick lifted his foot, ignoring Jerry's anguished cry. "Get up, sit on the worktable."

Jerry did as he was told, sniffling and rubbing at himself.

"That's good," Rick cooed, "now take off your pants. Show me what's got you so stupid."

Jerry shivered as he did what he was told, pulling his pants down just enough and holding his knees, presenting himself for inspection. His pussy shuddered and clenched against nothing, pooling slick onto the table beneath him.

Rick whistled and retrieved a pair of rubber gloves. "You've really screwed yourself this time. Do you even know what I'm going to have to do to you?"

"N-no?"

"Let's just say you'll need some prep." Rick sat in his chair, slinging the man's legs over his shoulders. "Relax for me."

His finger slid in with little resistance. Jerry flung his head back, panting and moaning as Rick added another finger. He squeezed, hot and trembling on his hand.

"Good thing I soundproofed the garage, huh? Wouldn't want your family, sorry our family, to overhear me finger-fucking your sloppy hole."

Rick curled his fingers and Jerry's cries went up an octave.

"That's right, scream for me. N-no one can hear us."

Jerry rolled his hips, crying out with each drag against his brand-new g-spot. Rick pressed his other hand against his clit, giving Jerry the pressure he obviously craved.

"There you go." Rick murmured as Jerry rocked against his hand. "Now you're getting it." His fingers fucked into Jerry at a steady pace as the man's hips began to shudder, every thrust producing an obsene squelch.

"C'mon, your body knows what to do, even if you're a brainless bitch. Come on my fingers, you can do it."

Jerry came with a scream, squeezing so tight that Rick imagined his digits getting crushed. Liquid gushed from him, splashing on the floor and soaking Rick's sleeve.

"Fuck," Rick ground out.

"S-sorry Rick, I didn't mean to! It just felt so good—" He cut himself off with a moan as Rick withdrew his fingers.

"Take these off." Rick said, nodding to Jerry's pants.

"R-Rick?"

"You said anything I want, Jerry. Or are you done?"

"No!" He scrambled to take off his clothes with shaking hands. "Please! Please, it still aches."

"I've got you," Rick said, stroking one hand against Jerry's thigh. He undid his fly with the other, taking his straining cock in hand. "I'm gonna make you feel so good, Jer."

"Do we need condoms? I mean, can I – uh,"

"You don't have a uterus, dipshit. And I'm clean as a whistle."

"What kind of whistle?" Jerry squirmed on the table. "Because I've seen some—"

"Do you want my dick or not, Jerry?"

"Oh God," Jerry moaned, "Yeah, yes. Just stick it in me, I don't even—" he cut himself off with a noise better suited to bad porn.

"Jeez Jerry, I'm not even in." Rick said, rubbing himself against Jerry's slick hole. "Try to – don't test my soundproofing."

"Sorry," Jerry wheezed out, "I just got excited."

"Yeah, I can feel that. Relax, okay?" He pushed in, giving Jerry a few breaths between every centimeter. "There you go, that's a good slut."

"Fuck," Jerry said, his voice cracking with the strain, "it hurts."

Rick stopped. "Give it a second, okay? Breathe."

"No," he said, locking his legs behind Rick's back, "it-it's good, it feels so fucking good, please keep going."

Rick groaned and pressed forward until they were flush, his balls pressed tight against Jerry's surprisingly plush ass. Jerry's mess coated him, slicking the way with a distinct squishing sound. Rick was already close, Jerry's soft cunt keeping his cock in a vice grip.

"You're a-a fucking glutton." Rick hissed, pulling out agonizingly slow before plunging back in. "You'll take anything from me, won't you?"

"Yes," Jerry breathed.

"All it took was a new pussy for you to come crawling to me like a - a cat in fucking heat."

"I know!" Jerry sobbed. "I'm disgusting."

"You really are. Have you always wanted me to rail you, or did you jump on the first available dick?"

Jerry moaned, covering his face.

Rick stilled his hips. He grabbed Jerry's wrists, pinning them above his head. "Answer me," he ground out.

"B-both," Jerry whimpered, "both! I'm a dirty slut and I've wanted this for so fucking long."

"Y-you're a sick fuck." Rick said, snapping his hips forward, relishing the way Jerry clenched around him. "Look at you, coming apart under me, making me hurt you. Making me take your virginity."

This elicited a drawn out moan as Jerry struggled to free one of his hands.

"Let me get that for you," Rick offered, using a hand to pinch Jerry's clit. This earned him another scream and Jerry began to buck wildly.

Rick leaned in close. “I can take this from you every night, Jerry. I can make you a tight little virgin again, anytime I feel like it, destroy you completely and put you back together. I-I’m a fucking God Jerry, your God.”

"Yes!" Jerry wailed brokenly. "Yes, do whatever you want to me Rick, just make me come, I need it so fucking bad, please!"

"Show me." Rick said, moving his hands to grip Jerry's hips. "Get yourself off as I destroy you."

Jerry's hands flew to his clit, rubbing hard enough to jostle his belly as Rick pounded into him.

"Oh God," Jerry wailed, "oh God, oh God, oh fuck – Rick!"

Jerry's pussy clenched, hard. Rick was only able to thrust once more before coming deep inside Jerry's wet cunt.

They breathed together, Jerry letting out little hiccups as he rode out the aftershocks, milking Rick's cock.

"Feeling better?" Rick asked, when the shudders subsided.

"Y-yeah, thanks Rick."

"Sure thing." He said, pulling out with a gush of come and slick. "But Jerry?"

"Hm?" He asked. He'd braced his feet on the chair, eyes already slipping closed.

"Touch my shit again and die."

"Sounds good, Rick." He said, heaving a sigh.

Rick tucked himself back into his pants, not really caring about getting his clothes any dirtier. He found a clean towel, mopping Jerry up as his hole began to slide itself into its usual configuration.

He made a mental note to synthesize a new batch tomorrow. He'd hold Jerry to his promise.